Call me old school -- I'm using my fountain pen

As I was writing thank you notes to eleven attorneys who interviewed me as well as the recruiter who organized everything last week, it occurred to me that I hadn't received a thank you note myself in a while.

After my interview, instead of debating over e-mail versus snailmail, I decided that handwritten notes were the right thing to do, and if the people I wanted to thank thought I was antiquated, so be it -- it would mean it wasn't the right workplace for me. I did fret a bit more than I'm letting on, after all, the economy has been through some major changes since I left private practice, and the market I'm trying to get back into is about 7000 lawyers smaller. But, how could I go wrong by sending a note? Who doesn't like a handwritten note?

Truth be told, I enjoyed writing the notes, trying to pick up the tone and a thread of my conversation with each person, that I decided to send a few personal notes as well.

I dropped one off in my neighbor's mailbox to thank her for a dinner party. She called me and warmly thanked me for the note, and invited me to a 4th of July picnic at the home of one of the other dinner guests. Score!

And, I sent a handwritten thank you note to Ellen, of Soft Spikes fame, for some purple large Soft Spikes she found for me. You can't adequately thank someone for a gift like that in an email.

But it occurred to me that I had two gifts outstanding with no thank you notes. Eventually, I got a two-sentence email thanking me for a gift from a high school friend whose wedding I couldn't attend. And, I had to follow up on the gift to another friend -- it had been so long, I had to make sure it didn't get lost in the mail. A week after my email, I did get an email thank you. That was a baby gift, so I suppose I should give the sleep-deprived parents a non-judgmental break.

No matter. Fully in line with living my life in the world the way I'd like it to be, I decided I needed to be even more of a thank you note writer. I marched down to Vroman's stationary store to look at personalized stationary options. At $4-9 per card & envelope, it's not in my future. I am, however, considering getting an embosser with my name on it so I can pay once and use forever. And, I do love writing notes with my fountain pen.

What was the last handwritten note you wrote? Received? Thoughts about e-mail versus snailmail?

A Texan asks me for advice (this might be a first!)

Hi Brunsli,

You are the only person (other than my consultant) who I thought may be able to help me.

First let me say that I love your blog! And enjoy reading about your hair, your work, and all the 'other stuff you fret about.'

What I'm writing to ask is: I want to become a consultant for Sisterlocks; I know how to go about that, but I have also become a lover of dreads as well. I've practiced doing Dreadlocks on my children and other family members hair, but need the techniques that come from being a professional and doing it for a while. That's where you come in. I haven't been able to find a beauty college, here in Houston, that teaches the technique of dreads.

My consultant said she'll call when she gets a chance. As you know a good consultant (like mine) stays busy, and I'm sure she's tired by the time her last client leaves.

Anyway, if you know or know of someone who knows how I can get training on installing dreadlocks please pass the information my way.

Thank you,
Locking in Texas

Dear Locking in Texas,

First, I apologize that it's taken me so long to respond. I got caught up in my trip to Lago Maggiore blah blah blah. Okay, the real answer is that I don't know. But, like a good lawyer, I don't stop at I dunno for an answer. I will answer a slightly different question instead and then send you to someone else who might be able to answer your question. (Give me some credit -- most lawyers just say "it depends.")

The Nonanswer to your question
The reason you can't find a beauty college in Houston that teaches how to do locks is because there's not enough money in it. Chemicals is where it's at. Perms and dyes offer opportunities even lawyers don't have -- double billing. While one client waits with a timer, you're cutting another client's hair. CA-CHING! Natural hair requires a lot of time and focused attention, which leads to much smaller ca-chings. Plus, the state cosmetology exams don't test locks, so the schools don't teach it. And there's no enough demand by people like you who want to gain certification, so no one has bothered to market it.

A lead to an answer of your question
You're not the first Texan to consider formal training in natural hair. I encourage you to read Dallas-based Creyole's fretting of which hair course to take, and her eventual decision to take a braider's course, here.

More leads to an answer of your question
Brunsli Blog Readers, please respond in the comments.

Good luck!
Brunsli

Of wild dogs and bears

I was driving home when I saw a wandering dog in the street. I was in a hurry to pick up my dogs and head to Paolo's for dinner, but of course, I left my car in the middle of the street and went after the dog.

The dog was friendly and had tags. I called the number on the tag, and left a voicemail, since there was no answer. The dog was very intent on going into a particular yard, but I learned from the healthcare worked who just pulled up, it wasn't his home.

I took the (very strong) dog by the collar and went to another house. No, they didn't know the dog and had never seen such a dog around. I called the dog's parents again. Fortunately, the people (smart) in my neighborhood did not total my Alfa Romeo, I (not smart) parked with blinkers on in the middle of the street. It occurred to me to pull over, but I didn't want the dog to keep wandering in the street.

I thought -- I'll put the dog in my car, take him home, and somehow figure out where he belongs, maybe using a reverse telephone lookup online. [It's a good idea to put your address on your dogs' tags!]

The dog jumped in my Alfa, and by the time I got around to the driver's side, the dog had his front paws in the driver's seat and back paws in the passenger seat. I told him to move over, and he promptly put his front paws over the back of my car and walked right over the trunk and out of the car.

So, taking the dog somewhere safe wasn't an option. I called Animal Control. Impressively, he was dispatched for the dog before I even said where I was. (Evidently, dogs pose bigger dangers than bears in my neighborhood.) I called the family again, and this time they answered. The Animal Control man arrived, and got a leash around the dog. I went back to where my car was -- now a few blocks away. By the time I returned, the dog had been recovered by its parents.

Whew!

The family could have waited to meet the person who helped their dog, or called me after listening to their voicemail. Oh well. I didn't do it for them -- I did it for their dog. And, I did it because I want to live in a neighborhood (world) where we take care of each other now and then.

I was an hour late to dinner and frazzled, but Paolo and Ella understood. They are dog people too.

---- If you look carefully, you can see the bear who came to visit last week.

I called Animal Control then too, but was scolded for calling. Silly East Coaster, one only needs to call if the bear is digging through trash, or threatening someone.

Right after I got off the phone, I saw two ladies in their seventies walking a dog, and braved the wilderness to warn them. What was I thinking? They not only knew about the bear, they were looking for him!

Goodbye Michael

You will always be the King of Pop.

The missing June 20 photos

1. View from the finiculare (gondola ski lift)

2. Looking over Locarno & Lago Maggiore, making the sign for spaghetti

3. Half of my panino. If I had believed Breadfruit that Swiss chalets were abundant, we might have gone to one of the seven restaurants we saw for lunch. But, a picnic was nice!

4. At the second peak.

More missing June 20 photos

1. On second thought, it makes sense there are restaurants, since it's a ski resort area, or was, before global warming.

2. Above the treeline. Yes, I am wearing a hiking skirt!

3. Getting oriented. Most of the view is in Italy.

4. My post-hiking relaxation. Prosecco and torta della nonna.

5. Breadfruit's idea of post-hiking relaxation.

(Please note Italian purple boots!)

Sunrise over Malpensa

Two hours into my twenty-hour door-to-door journey home.

It's one a half hours from Milan to London, and eleven hours from London to LA.

The missing sunrise photos (again) plus date night!

June 17 photos

Photos have been falling off my blog!

I know these photos were there -- but now they're not. I'm trying again in this new post.

Some of the creatures to be found in the Swiss mountains

(1) This bestia eats and drinks all day, and wears a Swiss cowbell which clangs away. We're not sure what it's called, as it's not a Swiss brown cow. It's probably a Scottish Highland cow, but we decided to call them "mozzarellas."



(2) Apparently, one has to occasionally run from helicopters. This one had intentions of landing on our heads, but being as furbi as we are, we managed to escape. There are also gliders and paragliders flying about.

(3) We didn't see him, but we're pretty sure the a knome lives here.

(4) A non-German speaking tourist. In Ticino, a rare sight indeed.

Hiking in the pre-Alps

Breadfruit and I drove over to Locarno, at the top of the lake, where we boarded a finiculare which took us up about 2/3 of the mountain.

When we arrived, I told him I only had about 20 minutes before I had a hunger-related meltdown (if you know me, you know this is not pretty). Somehow I managed to walk and whine about an hour until we found a suitable spot for our picnic -- private, pretty, and with a view. Truth be told, it didn't even have to be suitable at that point. As you can see, I am making the universal sign for "let's eat," or in my case "feed me!" which is two fingers outstretched and turning, like a fork on a plate of spaghetti.

It turned out to be a great spot, on a meadow, with a bench and view of the lake below. We waved to Mamma Breadfruit and Guava, who stayed behind in Gerra.

After feasting on cheese and proscuitto sandwiches (the only pork that goes on my fork), I was a happy camper, and we walked up, up, up to the top, then the next top, and the next.

We planned to take a skilift or two down to the finiculare, but we were too late -- they were already turned off.

Terrified of having to walk all the way back to Locarno, we rushed down. Fortunately, we arrived back at the finiculare half an hour before the last one down, and we killed time with the traditional post-hiking torta della nonna and prosecco at a restaurant on the mountain. Okay, maybe they're not traditional post-hiking foods, but they should be.

The missing sunrise photos

The missing lawnmowing and cooking photos (and check out the size of the European fridge)

Mowing the grass -- me!

I must dispel the impression that I'm living the life of luxury. Breadfruit and I arrived at the lake house to find that the grass needed cutting!

Since I've never mowed grass before, I said I'd do it. I was pretty nervous, and thought I should change out of my Birks, lest I lose a toe. But, I managed to use this electric mower without even harming my pedicure.

We're in Switzerland on Lago Maggiore, about 2 km north of Italy. Since food is so much cheaper in Italy than Switzerland, we drive down to the supermarket in Luino, and hope the customs officials won't smell the prosciutto when we come back.

I got it in my head to make gnocchi with fiore di zucchine, or squash blossoms. (BTW, I never knew how to pronounce gnocchi before I took Italian -- it's NYO-key, "ny" as nyah nyah as children say, and not geh-notch-chee or whatever I used to say.)

I wish I could express how good the tomatoes are here. We are eating them by the kilo! And the fresh mozzarella is fantastic. I have had insalata caprese every day.

On the map here, you can find us in Gerra, on the upper right of Lago Maggiore. I took Italian classes in Locarno (the big city around here) a few years ago.

The sun rises at 5:20 and sets at 9:20 this time of year. I was up to see the sunset this morning (thanks to my jetlag), and want to share it with you.

Saluti da Lugano!

Breadfruit and I are in Ticino, the southernmost canton (state) of Switzerland, his homeland.

We arrived at 8 am at Milano Malpensa, about 45 minutes away in Italy, where Papa' Breadfruit picked us up and drove us to Lugano, where our rental car was waiting. (American Express doesn't insure rental cars rented in Italy, so it made more sense to rent it in Switzerland. Why do I know such things?)

While fighting off jetlag, we walked lungo lago, along the bank of Lake Lugano after having the first of many cappuccini.

Lugano is the only place in Ticino where I have noticed people staring at me, and this day was no exception.

Breadfruit was a bit disillusioned. Lugano was the big city, a place where his mamma made him put on long pants to visit and where he had to be on his best behavior. After living in LA, this city with 56,000 people just doesn't seem so big. But it certainly is romantic.

The pictures really say it all!

We had dinner last weekend with our friends Danielle and Erik, and their most adorable princess, Octavia.

Erik was one of my first friends when I moved to California, and showed me the ropes at Tiny Tech. Erik and I unfortunately lost touch over the years when I left the Southland and started my North American Tour.

Imagine my surprise when I met Danielle at a social event, and only much later found out she was married to Erik!

And speaking of surprises, we just found out that our neighbor Yvette is their pastor! So next month, we'll have a triple date.

We've changed, and we've stayed the same. It's great to have new old friends in town!



(Now, I wonder what Breadfruit is reading to Octavia. Perhaps "Grilling for Toddlers," or "The Engineering Baby's Guide to the Sandbox." Obviously, she'd prefer "Brown Bear Eats Crème Brûlée.")

Don't be a Lockzilla!

Tonita posted this public service announcement to LockItUp yesterday. I thought it was so good, I asked her if I could repost it here.

Are you a good customer? On time, clean hair, discussing any concerns you have with your consultant. Sisterlocks is not a hobby, it's a business. With all businesses, a Sisterlocks consultant wants to do a good job and needs satisfied customers. I've read many posts about great consultants who are professional and conscientious. My only consultant was Paulette at Locks4Life, she is great.

A trainee may be slower at an install and retightening, but her speed will catch up with her training. Don't be too hard on the beginners.

As a customer, follow your consultants advice, wear a scarf or other cover on your locks to reduce lint buildup, no oily products, heavy conditioners, use the shampoo recommended, braid and band. If you want to DIY take the class. There are no short cuts to successful locking. Consultants want you to enjoy your natural transition.

Many consultants probably have Lockzilla stories to tell. Hard to please customers, missed appointments, late.

Don't be a Lockzilla.

Orange & Black!

Just a few more photos from my college reunion. Forgive me, these sorts of things make me nostalgic. And, I'm happy to report I'm not the only one who overdoes it on orange & black.

Look who else was there!

Hey! I want to read your blog

My blogging and reading of others' blogs has really suffered as a result of my no-laptop-in-bed policy. (Oh, I hope that's not TMI.) Changing my blog feeder from Bloglines to Google Reader didn't help either.

Yesterday I read a bunch of your blogs and it really made me happy. :) I love seeing all of the beautiful women (and men) in our community and reading the e-love in the comments.

If I haven't commented on your blog in a while, and you suspect I'm not reading it, please leave me a comment. I may not know about it, or it may not have moved over from Bloglines.

Still causing controversy

I just got an anonymous comment about how I was unfair and incited others to flame the hair loss doc on Balding Blog from this blog post months ago. I responded to her comment.

My favorite builidng on campus

Here I am, in front of my university's chemistry building. I spent a lot of time in here!

Great memories include getting a great grade in turbochem that allayed my freshman fears about deserving to be at this university, climbing onto the roof at 3 am (and not being able to get down) with RB, begging cyclopentadienones to melt before a noticable depressed melting temperature point with RB, making the other undergraduate GA in laugh out loud in the middle of our very serious graduate advanced organic chemistry class, making friends with all the graduate students when I worked in the chemistry library, getting surprise sushi from one special graduate student (who I hated when he was my TA and later ended up dating).

One thing that made me sad was my turbochem professor's visible disappointment that I'm a patent attorney. I feel like a failure in his eyes. Nevermind that the university is getting another building funded by patent royalties of one drug...

Too bad the wisteria's not in bloom.

Gangaro, a new type of bihaku?

Breadfruit and I ran into this Geisha in NJ by Iona Rozeal Brown.

Have you noticed her Japanese comb and afropick?

More here.

Chicco and I worked at home on Monday

He is much more relaxed than I am! I've got my annoyed lawyer look going on.

I'm off for a long weekend to the Orange & Black capital of the world. See you next week!

We clean up well

I have to admit, I'm proud of myself that I can go from REI to BCBG from one day to the next.

I don't think Breadfruit quite appreciates how rare this is.

Or, perhaps he does. He is the one who found the purple Italian hiking boots, after all.


















My hair certainly improved, but poor Chicco's hair was such a mess, he got a really short cut.

We braved the coccinelle attack!

Coccinelle is the brand of the first purse I ever bought in Italy. And, if I had never learned to speak Italian, it would have delightfully remained that way. I came to learn that it means "ladybug," which is English for "decorated cockroach."

Hiking Saturday, we came across some trees with strange red shading. Eeew!

Fortunately, our Maltese Mountain Dogs, relatives of the Bernese Mountain Dog, kept us safe.

Funny how my hair influences my mood

For whatever reason, I haven't made time to do my hair in the last couple weeks. Well, as much as I like my hair, I completely admit that I only like it when it's done.

Freestyling my hair just doesn't make me feel good. It's not that I feel bad, but I just don't have that extra Brunsli pep in my step when my hair is ho-hum.

Well, it's not news my hair influences my mood. I've said this before. But while hiking? I want to look cute hiking too?

• Upper left: Walking uphill for 5.6 miles, mostly in full sun.
• Upper right: After looking at digital camera display and realizing my hair's going to look terrible in all the photos!
• Lower right: I forgot to bring my walking sticks to help me get down. Oh, my knee! (I wonder if this is how 27 years olds feel.)
  
• Center: Despite all of this, I still have some Brunsli-ness left.

I am pleased to report that after this 7.5 hour hike, I set my hair, while watching (and singing along to) The Sound of Music. Yo-de-lay yo-de-lay yo-de-lay-he-ho!

Future Dental Student in search of lost Wisdom is looking for advice

Hi Brunsli,

I have been following your blog for some time now and absolutely love it. The information you post really has helped me with deciding and finally getting sisterlocks! However this email is not quite about hair (bummer, I know).

Anyway I am 23 and have been in the working world for a year now after graduating. I’ve been working in the field of my major (chemical engineering), but I am not satisfied. I knew since my junior year that I wanted to go to dental school, and I applied but did not get in; instead I tried working in the engineering field for a while just to try it out. I’m obviously not surprised that I am not totally happy and am making the effort to retake the DAT (dental admissions test) and reapply but lately it hasn’t been so easy to just sit down and study (especially with nice weather finally coming to Jersey!).

Have you ever felt unmotivated to just study even though the end result would make you happy? I know it is necessary but sometimes and lately most of the time, it just feels so daunting. Then fear and defeat kicks in that I won’t do well AGAIN and would have wasted more money and more time. I know that is not a positive way to think but lately I’ve just felt lost. I guess what I am asking is if you’ve ever felt this way and if so, what did you do? If not, what helped you keep these thoughts from ever entering your mind? Do you have any wise words to share that can help me put all that I have into studying and getting into dental school?

Thank you,

Future Dental Student in search of lost Wisdom

P.S. We share the same birthday! That is also my sister locks birthday!

Dear FDSisoLW,

Thanks for you email and the faith you put in my decision-making.

The quick answer is -- no, when I really want to do something, I make it happen. I drag my feet when it comes to the things I don't want to do.

So ... do you really want to be a dentist? Or, are you worried you won't get in to school again and are afraid of failure? Is there anything else you should be doing to get into dental school now too. such as volunteer work?

I'm a big believer in -- successful people fail more than unsuccessful people. And sometimes we need a kick in the butt. Come up with a study plan and make it happen. I don't know if dental school has rolling admissions like law school, but if so, make a plan to have your applications in the first week the schools will take them -- plan your success in every possible way. Use a calendar or spreadsheet to map out your studying, and reward yourself along the way. I do think you want to be a dentist, and you've probably written to me because you want a prod.

The DAT is a formidable test. If it's anything like the LSAT process, it's there just to separate those who really want to go to law school from those who don't. But you can do it. If this were easy, everyone would be a dentist. I was outraged that I had to study for the LSAT, and even more annoyed by the California Bar, which didn't test on anything in my field of law, yet I had to take anyway. These professional hurdles are obstacles that we have to grind through to get the results we want.

Visualize your success. I'd start by taking the test right now under testing conditions to get a baseline. Then calculate the score you'd like to have, and set up a study plan with testing along the way. Picture yourself walking up a steep staircase, getting closer to the goal at the top every step of the way.

Or, if the nice weather is just too much for your DAT books to compete with, take a Kaplan or other course to add structure and surround yourself in a culture of like-minded people who are also giving up their spring & summer to invest in their futures.

What do they call a dentist who didn't get in the first time but grinded her way through the DAT a second time? Doctor!

Brunsli

PS How cool that I share two birthdays with you!!!

Brunsli Blog Readers, please feel free to add your advice to this future Locked Dentist.

Love is always in style (and warning -- contains a Star Trek spoiler!)

So I was talking to a friend about Star Trek, and the surprise romance between Spock and Uhura. He proclaimed that it's the Michelle Obama effect, that "black women are the new 'it' girls and Korean girls have to move over."

Don't worry, he was purposefully being ridiculous, as even he knows women don't come in and out of fashion by race.

But, I'm sure there is a Mrs. O effect. Hopefully the image of a brainy, capable, stand-by-her man we see exemplified in Michelle Obama and Nyota Uhura will drive the unflattering stereotypes we all know and the crazy stand-by-her man black woman we see exemplified in Rihanna into obscurity.

What are you thoughts and experiences? I'd love if you'd share as AA women, and as non-AA women too.

So, not only have I spoiled the surprise romance in Star Trek, but I've told you Lt. Uhura's first name. To make up for it, I'll share a photo of the perfect man, here. And don't Barack and Michelle have a perfect love?

PS Did you know Uhura could play the Vulcan lair, even in the 60's?

Bubbly reading

On NPR, I heard an interview with the author of "Rising from the Rails," the story of Pullman porters, and realized I really need to know more about them. I'm not into history, but the combination of reading a story in the context of American racial drama from the end of slavery to 1969, the rise of the black middle class, and labor unions is too much for me to pass up. it's in my amazon.com cart.

"Passing Strange" recounts the story of a white man who passed as black in the 1880's to marry a black women. He also lived a life as a white man, explaining his absences by his fictitious Pullman porter job. The NY Times gave it a ho-hum review, probably because there is little historical information about the wife or their life together. Besides the actual fact that a white man passed as black, this book doesn't capture my interest.

And what am I reading now? A history book of an important businesswoman during Napoleon's time. None other than la Grande Dame, The Widow Clicquot Pansardin. Yes, as in the absolutely fabulous Champagne!

A quick trip to the Bay Area

I went up to the Bay Area for a conference on Biotech IP law last week. It was fantastic, as you might imagine.

Prusca attended the session on patentable subject matter after Bilski -- I told you the conference was good!

Afterward, we changed and headed to the foothills for a hike. We overlooked Silicon Valley, but it felt rather Tuscan.

The ACLU has used the Patent Office for allowing people to patent genes. Unofrtunately, it was just days too late to make it into the agenda of the conference.